An eye opener

Well I got the email i was so impatiently waiting for...
and unfortunately, i didnt get the character performer role.

I was in shock. First off, it was a saturday night at 6pm...why would they send me my email then? And its not like i was planning on getting the role, but i was seriously hoping for it. I was pretty upset for the rest of the night, i even had a huge halloween party to go to (of course as minnie mouse) and i couldnt even truly enjoy myself there. I drank my pain away and eventually fell asleep.

When i woke up this morning, i had this brief moment where i hoped i had dreamed it. For a moment i hoped it wasnt real. But reality hit me like a wall and i didnt even want to get out of bed.

But then i really thought about it. Why did i want to be a character performer? It was to interact with guests and bring to life something that made kids or even adults happy. I wanted to be apart of that. But i realized that i can do that exact same thing in attractions, but i get to be MYSELF. guests will recognize ME for creating that happiness rather than some character. Portraying a character would be great, but then they will never know who I truly am.

I think back to my last program when a family sent in a picture of me pin trading with their son and daughter to my manager. That family said how thankful they were for that interaction and how much their kids loved my enthusiasm for pin trading. i would NEVER get that as a character. I would be filling the shoes of something that many other people did. I would be blending in. Being something thats expected of me. Being something im NOT.

In attractions i get to create magical memories as myself, and there is nothing better than that. and i get to pick up those AWESOME parade shifts and maybe even fantasmic shifts if they still do that!!! :) and i have a feeling that my interviewer has an AWESOME location chosen for me to work at. I have Faith :)

I belive God has a plan for me. There is a reason for everything. Maybe it will be something as simple as in attractions i will have this incredible experience with a guest. something life changing. Or maybe i will meet some managers that will lead me to a full time position i wouldnt have gotten if i was in entertainment. Who knows. But I know theres a reason.

Now im sure i will audition again, because i still believe it would be a fun opportunity. And if i made it until the very final cut of my audition, obviously they liked me and there is someone i could be. BUt they just didnt have the openings or someone else out danced me. And that wont stop me from trying again, and if its meant to be, its meant to be. :)

and as today marks 70 days until i leave for DIsney, i feel wonderful. although occasionally my stomach drops when i think about losing the entertainment position because of the overdrawn excitement from hearing back, i just remember that now I get to make the memories, not some character. I get to be the one to make a difference and i dont have to hide myself behind a character to do it.

And out of the 50,000+ that applied for the entire program, i am one of the FEW thousand that get the opportunity to do the program, let alone to be doing it for a second time! I couldnt ask for more than that. :)

Thankyou Disney, for opening my eyes <3